Author's Note: My family signed up to take some foreign exchange students into our home for at least a month. I thought it would be cool to share some of my experiences with you that I've had for the last couple days. In this piece I am focusing on content and sentence fluency.
I enjoy hanging out with the two Saudis that now live in our house because they have lots of cool electronics, are fun to talk to, and are lots of fun to play ping-pong with. On Saturday, Molham, the first student came by taxi. He was supposed to come on Sunday, but came then instead. He speaks very good English already and talks better than Fahaid, who came on Sunday. Fahaid is more conservative than Molham and both, at 5 specific times in the day, pray. In the Muslim culture, one cool fact is that all the shops in Saudi Arabia close when it is time to pray. On Monday, we played games together and played ping-pong and basketball, which they are both quite good at. So far, I've enjoyed hanging out with them and stay tuned for an updates in the next month.
I appreciate how you are increasing the frequency of writing. However, I want you to continue to work on having an introductory element and a conclusion to every piece of writing. Ending a paragraph response asking the audience to look for updates in the next month is better suited in the author's note than the conclusion. See me if you need assistance with paragraph writing.
ReplyDeleteYou know, on one hand I really enjoy that you are sharing this experience. On the other, I am a bit disappointed that you don't get into more detail about how this experience is a source of learning for you and your family. Why not develop this into something more reflective, allowing you to go into more depth? Why not paragraph? I mean really, there is so much you could do here, and as a reader, I am left wanting more -- much more.
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